The Joy of the Ever-Expanding Tribe

Even those of you who have just recently met me, or who even briefly glanced at my social media, have likely noticed the word "tribe" pop up frequently. I say it/write it/hashtag it often in reference to my people - other women who are athletic, strong, independent. I am a huge advocate of empowering women. That's not even close to being a secret. So why bother writing about it? Because aspects of it have been heavy on my mind lately.

Let me begin by sharing something I wrote as a caption to a photo quote from the Cookie Monster. This was posted to Facebook on Dec 1, 2014:

I had been conditioned over the years - by bad experiences, life, society, shitty human beings - to be inherently wary of other women. They were competition, the enemy, always out to hurt me with ulterior motives. They were not to be trusted and would stab me in the back the minute I turned.

Thankfully, this past year has been a lesson in just the opposite. I have found myself surrounded by a growing group of amazing women. Strong women, in every sense of the word. Like-minded women who are confident, funny, sarcastic, intelligent, unfailingly kind, and a level of supportive of each other (and me) that I have never seen. I am grateful to a point that is impossible to express in mere words. 

The Cookie Monster keeps it simple (as with all the good and true things in life)....and I concur. So, ladies, I want you to know...I would happily share my very last Oreo with any one of you.

I can add, over a year later, that this feeling continues...and has grown tenfold. But lets back up a little first. 

We moved around a lot when I was a kid. Three times during my middle school years alone. It is what it is...life happens and there are plenty of reasons that these were necessary moves. But this led to going to 3 different schools from the beginning of 5th grade to the end of 7th grade. I was an incredibly awkward kid....all gangly limbs, a mass of curly blonde hair, and the kind of crooked teeth that happen when nature blesses you with entirely too many molars for your mouth. I was a bright kid who loved to read and excelled in school. I played violin. I was the eldest child of a single mother who did her absolute damnedest to make sure that we had everything we needed, which means I did plenty of after-school babysitting of my younger siblings.

I wasn't anyone in particular in high school. If I were in a movie, I'd have been credited at the end as High School Student #12. I continued to play in the orchestra, I took Spanish for years, I was in AP classes and NHS and I wrote short stories at a furious pace more nights than not. I had a core group of friends, with a few extras coming and going with each passing year. Every year, we played the group up game....with 3 of us becoming "bffs". And we all know how teenage hierarchies work. Three girls together often means that there are 2 close friends holding a third at arms length at any given time. The pairing shifts with no rhyme or reason. And at some point...you get to be the odd man out. That hurts like a bitch. But that's how many of us learn, as girls and young women, that female friendships go. There's backhanded and passive aggressive bullshit galore. We learn to jump into cliques, to group up, to not trust outsiders. It's a wildly immature way to approach relationships. Fortunately, many of us outgrow this. To some degree. I had a few very close friends through most of my twenties. Save for one friend - who has been a bestie since high school and continues to be one of the few people in this world I would drop everything for at a moment's notice - those friendships have waxed and waned through all of life's changes.

Strength sports were the catalyst for a massive shift in how I relate to other women. First through Crossfit, then through Strongman, I met some amazing women. They were all strong, funny, sarcastic, kindred spirits. No games, no cliques, no bullshit. I had to reconsider my concepts of confidence and support and connections to other women. 

My tribe is comprised of women who lift heavy things. Women who give 100% in training. Women who put as much energy into supporting the other competitors as they do into their own performance. Women who can laugh at themselves. Women who aren't afraid to fail. Women who understand that winning isn't everything and there is no such thing as perfection. Women who are beautiful because they give of themselves and their time and their knowledge freely, without hesitation. These are the people I am drawn to. You don't need a title, an impressive competition record, or even big PRs. You only need to have that spark, that kindness...and actions, my friends, speak far louder than words.

Yes, I have a very core group of women who are my inner circle. They are the ones I commiserate with, joke with, share life experiences with. I hold my personal life tightly, because it is mine and no one else's business. They are the trusted few who know the ins and outs of "Bee"....who share theirs with me. 

But I don't restrict myself to just this core group. If you show up to train at my gym, I will cheer you on. I will give feedback if asked. I will take the time to demonstrate new movements and watch your form and probably crack a joke or two. I will match you in excitement when you PR, when I pile plates on an implement and you move far more weight that you imagined you could, when you finally pick up that sandbag or atlas stone. And if I see you reflect this same excitement toward others....if you're open to trying new things and willing to fail and supportive of those around you.....you're in. You are now part of the tribe. 

This means my tribe continues to expand. At competitions, I support the girls I already know. But I also make a point to say hello, strike up conversation, and cheer on the other competitors. Half the fun at nationals this year was meeting so many awesome new women from near and far. While it's a competition....we all need to keep a couple things in mind: 1) I am going to do as well as my training and preparation allows - Someone else's good or bad day at a contest is not my business. I cannot control it. All I can do is focus on my own effort and performance. Though it is a contest, it's really a competition for myself. Can I continue to improve? Will I go heavier/faster/farther? That's what matters. 2) IT'S AMATEUR STRONGMAN. I mean, truly. I love the sport. I hope to do it for a very long time. But I am not a pro. You are not a pro. We are small peanuts. Strong peanuts...but small ones, nonetheless. 3) There are very few things in life worth being uptight about. This is not one of them. 

There are many women I look up to in this sport. They are impressive athletes and wonderful human beings. And I am not shy about telling them so. One woman in particular knows that she is my "rabbit"...a term borrowed from my running days. She always moves just a little faster and lifts just a little heavier than me. She motivates me to train harder, to push myself. And, unlike the immature view of the past, I have absolutely nothing bad to say about her. I consider her a friend...family, really. I love competing with her because we have fun. I am pumped for her when she wins because she truly deserves it. She is a dedicated athlete and trains hard. She has also sat on the floor with me after a competition when I was in tears, beating myself up for a mistake I made during an event. She has loaned me knee sleeves during a contest. She has invited me repeatedly to train with her.

I have little respect for athletes who aren't like this. Athletes who are mean, back-biting, passive aggressive shit talkers. Athletes who cannot shake a competitor's hand. Athletes who don't cheer on, console, or congratulate others. Athletes who make excuses and minimize others' accomplishments. Because, frankly, I don't care what you can lift. I don't care if you're a pro. I don't care how many people think you're a role model. If your character does not hold up....what's the point? We all peak. And then we decline. No one is on top forever. No one can keep up the PRs and the records and the podium spots. But trust me, if you're a shitty human being, other people will remember that. 

You know what? I just plain don't respect humans who are like this. Forget just "athletes". All humans. Be kind. Be decent. Be compassionate. Don't be an asshole. One day, you just might need that support you've refused others. How would you want to be treated? How would you want your loved ones to be treated?

And so, my tribe....let's carry it all forward. Ignite that spark, fan the flames, and pass that fire along.

Strongwoman: Deadlifts and Carries and Stones, Oh My!

How do you sum up one of the most amazing days ever? I'm not sure I'm even capable of doing so effectively...but let's try. Here's my recap of Jul Valkyrie, the women's only Strongman contest that was held on December 12, 2015 at Detroit Tough. Orchestrated by Yours Truly.

This whole contest came from some harebrained idea that went "Oh, I could do that, that would be fun" after a conversation with a couple friends. I imagined a little contest, maybe 20 competitors, but we'd get sanctioned and make it a fun day. Somehow......it blew up into twice that number. I know there are bigger contests out there, but remember that we're talking about a competition in Michigan in December. Which meant we were stuck indoors. And as much as I adore my gym....it's not exactly big enough for a massive crowd and lots of heavy things moving at the same time. After a brief panic, I realized we'd be able to squeeze on in and be just fine, as long as I made the sure the events flowed back and forth between the upper and lower levels.

The support from Willie and Barkley coming into this was even more than I hoped for. They both not only answered my random questions, they regularly called and texted just to check in. Willie's decision to make Valkyrie a qualifier for the Women's Pro Championship was icing on the cake. Planning a show is interesting. There's a lot of things to do right at the beginning...then there's a lot of waiting around, collecting registrations...then the last two weeks hit. And you run like a maniac. Goodbye sleep.

Somehow, I made it to Friday. The majority of the competitors took advantage of 24 hour weigh ins, so I got to see a lot of the girls early on. Many of them made weight on the first try. A very determined few missed on their first shot....went to sweat it out for a while...just to come back and nail it. I learned I'm a softy; my inner competitor knows the feeling and wanted to let them slide. But every one of them had a great attitude about it and, in the end, every woman ended up in the weight class she planned for. Friday night we did a little prep to the gym, clearing out extra equipment and getting ready for the next morning. I was so wiped out, I barely kept my eyes open to shovel food in before dropping into bed.

Before I knew it, the alarm was going off on Saturday morning. Admittedly, I had startled awake several times during the night, convinced I had missed the alarm and was going to be late to weigh ins. One might say I was a bit anxious. We got to the gym in time to meet up with Jon, who was delivering the shirts. I thought they turned out pretty damn nice. Paul stepped up to run check in/shirts for the competitors and to collect the spectator donation (bless his heart), and Andrea managed the USS memberships. Mary assisted with the final few weigh ins, while I tied up some last minute details. I was reminded of what wonderful friends I have, as several more stepped up to help with weights and event setup, keeping us running smoothly all day long. Mary and Jessie kept scores recorded and got them to Crystal, who tracked the entire contest with no hiccups. The gym filled up quickly with competitors, and it was time for rules before I knew it. 

We ran two platforms for 18" deadlift. The event flew by, and I hardly knew where to look to keep up with all of the lifts. It became a game of "turn and cheer and turn and cheer and turn and cheer" until I thought my voice might be gone already. These ladies pulled some incredibly impressive weight. Weighing in for the 123 class, Erin Janowicz pulled a whopping 405 - that's over 3x her bodyweight! Watching Rachael Thatcher effortlessly pull 505 was a thing of beauty. She's a continuously impressive athlete...as well as a fantastic human being. I've watched her compete in the past, and she sets the bar for sportsmanship every single time. She is a serious competitor when it's go time, but in between you can see her chatting with the other ladies, giving tips and advice, and joking around.

Conan's wheel came up next. Every woman visibly put in max effort on this event, whether they were practically sprinting or doggedly putting one foot in front of the other. Willie and I had a good laugh at the way the cheering would follow the woman on the Conan's in a wave around the circle, from the competitors to the judges to the spectators and around again. 

Viking press followed. Some of the ladies repped out their weight like it was nothing. The overhead game in that gym was strong. There's not much more to say about this one. For going one at a time, this event seemed to be done before I knew it. Probably because I was busy running back and forth to get the carry medley set up.

Everyone moved to the upper level for the carry medley. Each division had 4 objects of varying weight, to be carried down 30' then run back up and over the line before grabbing the next. This had been a little....controversial....when it was posted. The weights were heavy and 4 objects is a lot to move in under 60 seconds. However, after running through it myself with the LW open objects, I determined it could, in fact, be done. Especially since the weight for the loadable husafell ended up dropping drastically. Many of the women got through 3 objects, some nearly finished with the fourth. But a handful completed the entire medley. See?! Told you it could be done! Christina Bangma finished it the fastest of any of the competitors, with 4 whole seconds to spare. I can attest, by the time you reach the last object, you end up damn near puke point. Every person who finished it should have gotten an award for that alone. An alarming number of people ended up body slamming the kegs, and I thought for sure one of the kegs would explode before the event was done for the sheer number of times they were slammed down. Thankfully, everything held together just fine. And so did all of the women, though some gained a few minor battle wounds.

Final event was stone over bar for reps. This was the most impressive display, after the deadlifts, as we were able to run three lanes at a time. These woman could move stones!! Someone even swore they saw Elizabeth Carpenter slam dunk the 175 one handed. The stones are fickle, and I personally have a love-hate relationship with the things. Some days they cooperate beautifully, and some days they fight back. No matter whether they got 0 or 10+, every single woman put 100% effort into moving those stones. It was beautiful. Badass award of the day goes to Grace Larned - she was running strong all day in the novice <148 class. When she got to stones, she tossed the first one over the bar...then the second...and slammed it right down onto her toe. Unfazed, she continued to rep something like 9 more in her 60 seconds. She later received a diagnosis of a hairline fracture and several stitches as an additional award for her badassery. 

We had some great sponsors, as well as some beautiful handmade necklaces for awards. The 2nd and 3rd place finishers in every division received a necklace and a gift certificate from Ladies Lift Here. First place finishers received a mini sword (Novices) or valkyrie battle axe (Open), a pair of socks from The Sox Box, a gift certificate from Ladies Lift Here, a shirt and protein from Nxt Level Labs, and a necklace. Each 1st place novice qualified for Nationals 2016. The top 3 Open finishers not only qualified for Nationals, but also for the Pro Woman's Worlds in October 2016. 

Becky from Tri-Covery came in and helped keep all the bodies tuned up throughout the day. Every one of the women was amazing to watch throughout the day. Our novice classes made up half the competitor list. I'm so impressed that so many ladies were willing to face the unknown and try out a competition. And, as always, I am equally impressed by the effort of our seasoned competitors. I cannot accurately describe to you the feeling in the gym yesterday. Everyone cheered for everyone else. Experienced women not only encouraged the novices, they willingly shared advice and welcomed them into the sport. The air buzzed with all of the excitement.

Overall....I'm going to call it a success. It's a very interesting experience being on this side of a contest. While I make a habit of thanking every promoter for shows that I compete in....I feel like I need to go back and send them gift baskets and hugs. This is not for the faint of heart! Holy cow. But it was so much fun, stress and all. 

We raised $1,800 for a Detroit domestic violence shelter, between registrations and spectator donations. I'll be posting an update on Facebook after I talk with them tomorrow. I'd like to get the money to them this week, so hopefully it'll be especially helpful coming up on Christmas and the new year. My nice new friend Mike with Attack Hunger - a Detroit-based charity that raises money for 4 different programs that help at-risk women and children in the city - pointed me in this shelter's direction. If you're looking for a great cause to support, check out Attack Hunger.

So what now? Now I start a new program cycle and train toward my next contest as a competitor. And, after I catch up on sleep, I'll start planning for the July iteration of Valkyrie. So stay tuned, because we'll do it all again July 2016. 

Sometimes I talk Strongman...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hlgzo1fAsFY&feature=youtu.be

I did that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go stop sweating from so much focused attention.

Adventures and such...

Let's do the damn thing.

Teeny, tiny, shrunken baby Tank is back to it. Time to get back into the groove. Had a conversation with my coach tonight and committed to starting a training program again next week.

Some things have to change. I've got to hold myself accountable to it all....consistent training, eating like a damn athlete again, keeping my head in the game. Work be damned. It's getting better...I can now get myself to the gym. I'm not utterly exhausted. Though I've been fighting off migraines and some mystery illness this week, I'm on the upswing. It's time to start making moves.

So next week we begin again. I've got goals and plenty of room to grow.

In the meantime....only a couple details left to wrap up for Valkyrie this weekend. I am absolutely beside myself with excitement. Not to mention slightly overwhelmed at all of the support that's poured in to help make this event happen. It's a rush to see things come together and click into place. I am so ready for Saturday (even if the competitors would like to enjoy their deload week a liiiiiittle longer), I don't know how I'll even sleep on Friday night. Just waiting on shirts and have a couple of odd things here and there to snag. If I'm lucky, I'll even manage to sneak in a little training session during the day on Friday while hanging out at the gym for weigh ins. Perhaps in one of my little time gaps.

And in other exciting news....I've been asked to do an interview tomorrow. Live. On the internets (shut up, boys, I can hear the smart ass comments from here). This very cool project called Women Empower Active through UR Sportswear does live interviews on YouTube with active women to tell their stories and talk about their active adventures. And somehow I ended up on their radar and was asked to participate. So if you want to watch me ramble on about how awesome Strongman is and be extra, extra awkward, I'll post the link on my Facebook and Instagram. Folks can even comment questions on those posts for them to pick from for part of the interview.

Big things, my friends. Life is an adventure and these next few weeks promise to hold plenty of challenges. Stay tuned.