I'm two for two!!!
Yesterday, I got my arse to the gym, even though I didn't leave work as early as I had hoped. Worked on some overheads with the barbell....I usually do those with axle or log these days, so it was nice to switch it up and work on something I hadn't in a long time. Then I decided to try out sumo deads. Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. My hips are weak, man. And that's a good thing - lots of room to work and improve. I've only pulled sumo a few times before, so it was nice to get some tips from a gym buddy who is much more experienced in them. I had to get my head out of it; time to stop worrying about the ego and the numbers. I know I can pull heavier weight. But I'm not going to sacrifice learning the movement properly for the sake of saying "oh yea, I can pull this much".
Then, tonight - after meeting with my client - I got to the climbing gym. And I actually climbed. And did some challenging stuff. And did a little drill work. WHAT. As with everything else, I've got miles and miles to go with my climbing skills/technique. But damn does it make me happy.
I've been practicing the art of not hanging on to the negative things. I have to say, I'm noticing an overall change in my mood and feelings about life. Things no longer feel like they are just piling on. A rough day is just that - rough. Not life-ending. Not panic-inducing. Just a bump in the road. Take it as it comes, do what I can do to deal with it, be kind to myself if I need the down time to recover a little more. Some days it's a fight not to get drawn into others' negative thinking and let it slide me right back down into that pit. I wish I could pinpoint what exactly changed that's allowing me to do that. But I can't. It just...shifted.
Maybe it's helped to stay focused on all of the good things. The little bits and pieces that make up such a good life. And I don't mean the usual "Well, it could be worse. At least I have food and a house". Yes...duh. There's always someone worse off. But that doesn't negate feeling shitty or like you're struggling. And, I'm sorry folks, but this isn't the damn Terrible Life Olympics. Depression, anxiety, stress....they feel equally as stifling. Telling people that "some people don't have it as good as you" is a PC way of minimizing them telling you "I don't feel right. I feel overwhelmed/stress/sad and can't get out from under it". If someone is telling you that they feel they are struggling, here's what you do: SUPPORT THEM.
Be kind. Listen to them. Do what we therapist-type folks call "validating feelings". It's such a small act, but it makes such an impact. There was a conversation I had with a friend months ago that still sticks out in my head. And she probably doesn't even remember or realize what it meant to me. I called her and vented about my day. I mean full on ranted and raved and yelled in my car over the phone line about my terrible day and my awful boss and every single injustice I felt had been heaped upon me for the past several hours. And she just listened. And when I finished, she paused a second, then just said "I'm sorry you had a bad day". I suddenly became a toddler on the phone, the tears hit me and I probably just blubbered something that sounded like gibberish. But it was that simple acknowledgement...no advice, no rationalizing...just someone saying "Yes. That is shitty. You are having a terrible day. And I'm sorry to hear that". And that's all I needed. Then she cracked a joke and I laughed and we continued talking. Sometimes ya just need someone to let you know that they have heard you - that they get it.
It's much easier to keep an eye on the positive things when you have supports like that. All the good little things start adding up. And instead of feeling buried, you feel lifted, buoyed by the feeling of contentment and thankfulness for those things.
So tomorrow, I challenge you to take some time to pay attention to the folks in your life. Check in, see how they are doing. Let them know you're there as support. And if you see someone who is struggling - either ongoing heavy struggle or just one of those bad days that happen to all of us - do something nice for them. Something as small as stopping for a conversation and a smile, or giving of your time to grab some coffee with them, or even leaving them a nice little note or performing a random act of kindness for a stranger you see having a difficult day. It's worth the extra few minutes, I promise.
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